i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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