Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
