I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
