i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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