i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize