You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
