Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
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