Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
