doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
