I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
