i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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