I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
