when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
