p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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