are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
