I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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