It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
