she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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