Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
