You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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