...so i touched it.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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