Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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