Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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