1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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