Christians are straight up FREAKS
I don't think brook has ever known best
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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