just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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