becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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