Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
