I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize