Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
