dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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