wrigley field is MILF paradise
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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