okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
My Sexting was not on an AP level
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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