his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize