my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
