Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Let's paint friendship bongs
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
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