the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I love you. Go after that dick
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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