Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
