You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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