with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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