we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
