im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Let's paint friendship bongs
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
