your thong is hanging out like whoa
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I cockslap morals
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize