At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
