I want to make a zoo with you.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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