My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
