Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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