I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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