why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
