Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
