wrigley field is MILF paradise
I can tuck mytits in my pants
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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