Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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