I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Randomize
