I wannas sexs uuuuu
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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