happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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