I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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