the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
