Fuck appropriateness.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
